Ha! What a way to end a week of Butt-Rock. Scorpions is truly one of those stadium rock / power ballad bands that will never disappear from the collective memory of America. Just look at all that spandex the band is wearing! As if I needed to tell you, the song is “Still Loving You” from the band’s triple-platinum album Love at First Sting. Not bad for a bunch of German rockers.

Being the other resident weeaboo on this blog, it is my sad duty to inform you all that one of the best hip-hop producers to come from Japan has died. Seba-san was in a fatal car crash in Japan on the 26th of February.

Continuing this week’s trend of Butt-rock Ballads, here’s Motley Crue’s “Without You” from the album Dr. Feelgood. Oh man it’s just sooooo terrible!

Man, if you thought that me playing “Animal” yesterday was bad, just wait until you get an earful of today’s track. This is the eponymous track from the album Hysteria, from which there are literally no bad songs…to me at least. Beg for mercy if you wish to be saved from the power ballads of the 80s because I’m really starting to enjoy myself here. If I keep this up, next thing you know we’ll be playing “Total Eclipse of the Heart!”

Goooooood morning MediaWhore! Technically it still is morning out in my neck of the woods, so don’t argue with me about it. I apologize for there not being a Friday or a Monday track, but I was AFK the entire time so I didn’t have a chance to post something to make your morning’s a bit better.

Today’s track will kick off this week in the right way. Some of you out there might be familiar with my affinity for shitty techno, or even ska music, but did you also know that I’m a huuuuuge fan of some of the more popular 1980s butt-rockers out there? Well it’s true, and the track up there should be an indication of how far gone I am. I hope you enjoy your Def Leppard. C’mon…how can you hate any of the tracks off of Hysteria, it’s a great fucking album? “Animal” is just one of those tracks that needs to be on EVERYONE’S iPods and iPhones.

This week’s episode of the Red-Light Roundtable promises to be a whopper, we’ve got a ton of things to talk about and only an hour to get through it all, oh noes! We’re gonna be busting our asses to attempt to get all of this stuff packed into one show.

Today’s track “Monster” is a bit of awesome from our favorite B-52s frontman while he was doing some solo work on his album Fred Schneider & the Shake Society. Mr Schneider, I request…no I demand that you redo this video but be more honest with it (less ladies). I know that at the times it probably wasn’t PC to flaunt being gay (damned homophobic 1980s), but now that it’s 2010…you should show more pride by making this video as raunchy and flagrantly gay as you feel comfortable.

Don’t even hate on this song, you know that you want to get off our ass and shake it when you hear the B-52s sing “Love Shack”, it’s one of those songs that never gets old and can be played at ANY party. This is one of many great tracks off of their Cosmic Thing album which I remember being one of my first CDs to ever covet from my dad’s collection. Fred Schneider is especially FAB-YOU-LUSS in this video.

You didn’t think that I could just start the week of with Fred Schneider’s new group, The Superions, and not take it any further than that? WRONG! I think that I’m going to give you a whole week of Fred because the man fucking deserves your respect. Bow down and obey him! Today’s track is the opening track off of the B-52s first self titled album, but some of you youngins might remember it from Monsters vs Aliens, or even further back as the entrance music for The Spleen on Mystery Men.

Oh that wacky Fred Schneider, from the B-52s, is at it again. You can’t keep a great man like him down. He’s started his own new group called The Superions and today’s MCoM is the smash hit “Who Threw That Ham at Me?” that is essentially the story of a shoplifter who hoping to avoid getting caught claimed that a ham was thrown at them…instead of it falling out of their pants. Disco Garbagecan, take your lid off!

Don’t ever discount The Cardigans as a group just because of their Swedish roots. Many people wee ready to forget about them after the song ‘Lovefool’, that put them on the map. Most people never got into the album Gran Turismo, which was produced to the Nth degree and remains one of my top 100 albums of my lifetime. The track for today “Erase and Rewind” is a perfect example of the sound the band settled on after the success of their first album. It’s so good, it makes me want to go watch The Thirteenth Floor all over again.

Ever wonder who the guys behind the infamous “numa numa dance” are? Wonder no longer, the group behind the uber eurotrash “Dragostea Din Tei” are a trio known as O-Zone. This track is off the album DiscO-Zone, and I know this because…I bought the damned song on iTunes this week. At least you can now say that MediaWhoreNetwork has expanded your horizons a bit today.

Yup, another day, another Vengaboys track. This one should make you want to visit the magical South American land of beautiful women with excellent boobies, a gigantic Jesus statue, and more people with the last name of Silva than you can shake a stick at. Still on the tracks from The Party Album, this is “To Brazil”. Oh and if you’re a fan of mid 20th century music, you’ll recognize the tune they put the dance beat over almost immediately.

It’s bad enough that the company doesn’t even come close to what Netflix can do when it comes to streaming video…but when I hear news of the movie rental chain having to close 500 stores, it’s time for us to let the store go into the woods to die a solitary death like all good old dogs are supposed to do.

I dare you to NOT get up off your duff and start shaking your ass to today’s track. I liked hearing the Vengaboys yesterday so guess what, you get yet another track from the group. This one is off of the same album, but should be even more recognizable due to it being used in the Six Flags commercials (remember the ones with the dancing old guy?). I’m telling you, you need to get their first American release The Party Album, like right now from which you’ll find this as the first track “We Like to Party (The Vengabus)”.